New Districts Idea - Entertainment and Wasteland

**McBain** · 05/06/2007 18:37:13

--Collector Stories--

Neighborhood: Nastratin
Gang: Joker's Child
Collector: Skomorokh

Gang item: Harliquin Cards
Reward: BoBo's Laiment

First message:
"The Jokers Child brings no joy, only pain and suffring. There child like additudes and smiling colorfull faces are tools of lies for there distructive and evil perpouses. They must be stopped at all cost. You, you are stronger than I could ever be, force them away and give me the Card's they carry as proof of your good deeds!"

Second message:
"I see you are helping them see the wrong of there ways? Yes, death is a good teacher. I know all to well. Do not worry, though you may not see a reward in your actions on the horrision, you can rest assured that your good deeds will not go unrewarded."

Third message:
"I was once a member of the Jokers Child. I, like many other members, was a young ruffian pissed about the world as we know it. Me and my boyfriend, we showed our love by causing distruction in our path. One day, in Ueno, he was confronted by the Shuriken gang. He could not fight them off, and when he asked for help... we ran, we ran away like cowards. Poor BoBo, maranating in his own raggue! No one should die like that!"

Closing message:
"This is the mask of my dead love. I have no use for it anymore. Wear it, and you will strike fear in the hearts of men through chaos. This was my lovers last wish, the last Will and testamate to poor BoBo! Bless him!"

Neighborhood: Vaudville
Gang: Vile Wands
Collector: Faminn

Gang item: White Rabbit Pins
Reward: The Magic Touch

First message:
"They are after me! The Vile Wands want to delete me! I've done it! I really, really screw up! However, this was not all my fault. Not my fault! I deserve a second chance, but in the Matrix there is no such thing as a second chace. Crap! Have to create my own! Please help a worthy program, clear a way for me to excape! How can I trust you? Hmmmm....bring me the White Rabbits they wear as proof! Hurry! I hear them outside!"

Second message:
"Thank you, a few more out of the way and I can make my excape! Wha? Yes I am a program, a combat proxy to be percise. My M-Master was one of the best operatives in Zion. He....killed alot of people. Even a Combat Proxie gets sick and tired of killing all the time! But no, this man was...was..."

Third message:
"My M-Master was an evil son of a *CENSORED*! He asked me to kill this 9 year old girl. A girl! I just killed her mother right in front of her young eyes, now he wanted me to end her life too. I...I could not do it. He said it was for Zion and he started to slap her around...slammed her face in the floor. Pritty face. I had to do something....and when I realised it, I killed him. Perminatly."

Closing message:
"The Vile Wands want me to pay for my Sins, but I have already payed enough for his actions! I shall make a run for it by dawn, keep my gift. You should have a m-more noble use for it that my bloodthirsty master did!"

Neighborhood: Tungston Bvd
Gang: The Beatniks
Collector: The Conformist

Gang item: Beatpipes
Reward: The Peacemaker

First message:
"Greetings freed human, I am The Conformist. My duty in this system is to make sure our batteries are ignorant of the simulation and its inner workings. To do so, they need to folow some guidelines and levels of aptitude to fully buy into the Matrix. The Beatniks currently threaten such order, they are a danger to socity. Conversion is impossible, elemination of such individuals is our only option. You are authorised to use any force nessisairy to get the job done. Show no mercy."

Second message:
"I see by your accumulation of 'Beatpipes' that you have been folowing orders. More work needs to be done, but this is only the begining. Such illigal substances in the pipes you carry are used by this group to supress certaint protocols in the Matrix, allowing there brain to flux at a much highten signal causing visual errors in the code around them. Such code manipulation is dangerous, hence why the must assimulate or die."

Third message:
"You have exceeded my expectations human. With your assistance, we have caused fear to fluctuate with in the flock. Fear is a healthy protocol that produces a chemical in the brain that helps them cope with the system and live to our standards. This contraband you have handed over to us is of great help, a program known by the alias 'Rani' is responcible. I will report to my superiors...her days of illigal dealing will be restricted.
Since humans like reward for there actions, I will give you a tool that will help you with your future endevors of keeping the peace in our system."

Closing message:
"Remember: Do not do drugs, because we are watching you."

Neighborhood: Chaplin Hights
Gang: Talkies
Collector: Brewster

Gang item: Security Badges
Reward: Blabbermouth

First message:
"Awww man, this black eye is never going to go away! YOU! HOlD IT THERE OR I WILL...eh what is the use. I AM a weakling! Look at me! I cannot even fill in my uniform and this is the smallest size they got! Man, I am such a shrimp. No way I am going to face Johnny, Mikale and the gang at the mess hall or they will just beat me into a pile a mess again. Hay! You look like a big tought guy! Yea you, look at those arms man! You'r ripped! What do you do, bench press dumpsters all day? Say um...can you help a guy out. I want you to ruff up the team. Get me there Security Badges. Hay don't go! Please help me avoid another swirlly!"

Second message:
"Whoa man, you are like Jet Dempsey over here! Look at all those badges! Erm, I am sorry to sound like a total jerk, but could you get me a few more? I mean, this is good, but I want to look so good that even Charlie will flinch! Come to think of it I never saw that man flinch. Man what is he, a machine? Maby you are too? Two machines going at each other! Just like Rock Em' Sockem Robots! Get more and I will be like, your best friend ever!"

Third message:
"Oh. My. GOD! You did it! Look at this! You have so many badges I could stack them into like a card house or something. Slick Work! AHAHA! Look at them all wandering around brused and face down. See, I may have no meat on my bones but I have da brains to back it up! Now they know what its like to get bullied around! Wait till my friends see this! Here, take this! You deserve it man, I do not care what regulation says about not having 'authorised access' on weapons. I am sure when he hears about me and this recent *CENSORED* kicking they will bow down and worshop me from now on!"

Closing message:
"You and me man, we would make a great team! Chow!"

**McBain**

Neighborhood: Queensberry
Gang: Mile High Club
Collector: Ollie

Gang item: Prestine Tokens
Reward: Cobett Sluggers

First message:
"Please kind sir! I am but an old poor man who made a very wrong choice in life. The sound of coins is addicting. The roll of the dice so plesent. Those Mile High bastards, they took everyting. My food. The cloaths on my back. Even my Wedding Ring! I cannot even afford to get back home. Please sir, spare some tokens so I can get my life back together. Please sir, I am begging you!"

Second message:
"Oh thank you sir. Every little bit helps. Addiction is an ugly thing. Its like a posion, turnning the normal sane person into a mad man. Begging on this street corner, I have seen lots of people with addictions. Smoking. Drinking. Sex. Money. What dose it all mean? I personally think it means nothing, but then again I am without anything myself. I need my stuff back, I just want to get home."

Third message:
"Oh bless you angle wearing sunglasses! I have enough tokens to enter into the big draw tonight. I know I am going to win big! With that much money, I can buy everything back from those scoundrells! Do not worry friend, friends help each other. Here is something I picked up when roaming around at the Y. They are not of money value so I could not sell it worth much, but I think this will aid you in your addiction of bloodshead."

Closing message:
"Pray that I hit the Jackpot tonight!"

Neighborhood: Bellucci De Monica
Gang: Caravaggios
Collector: Rhea Silvia

Gang item: Anumati Brushes
Reward: Picasso's Maddness

First message:
"*CENSORED*. *CENSORED*. *CENSORED* it! Look at what they did to my artworks! So much time, so much effort put it. All ruiend! This is the third time this weak, and while the other starving artist may put up with the Caravaggios pulling this kind of crap, I have had it! I have seen your kind on the street, Redpills right? You have such skill in the art of fighting. I wan't you to force the Caravaggios out of this area, bring me the brushes they stole from me so I can paint beautifull works once again!"

Second message:
"Look at the beauty of the vistas and parks around me, those Caravaggios thugs do not deserve to be in such beautifull settings. I think they are in some kind of cult, they stalk around howling at the Moon like wolves at night. Its madness! Bring me more brushes and I will make something specal for you. This entire neighborhood is your canvas and I want you to paint it with there bodies and blood!"

Third message:
"Beautifull! Magnifico! Already thanks to your work, the cult has started backing out of the more populated areas. Now I can paint my paintings and artwork in peace. Oh sure, I know they are going to come sulking back, they always come back. But for now, I have peace. You should have a peice too! Here is something I painted just for you. Go ahead wear it, you are now a walking peice of artwork! Go out and bring beauty for the rest of the world!"

Closing message:
"I hope this shirt improves your own artwork of fists and bullets!"

Neighborhood: Praxin
Gang: Kaitalugi
Collector: Tochka

Gang item: Candy Pacifiers
Reward: Kisaeng

First message:
"Oy! Woocha lookin' at? You intrested in having fun with some hot dollys in sexy nickers...oh wait, you are not in suff of that sort? Sorry mate. You looked like someone who needs to be..shagged more often. Look at 'em out there. Sruttin' around like because they make a few bucks doing turning tricks that they own the place! Too confident I say! They need to know fear. Do me a favor mate, lets spread out and slap them around. Show em' who is boss! We will tally up by taking the lolly's they carry with 'em!"

Second message:
"Not bad mate, not bad! However, these freaky **CENSORED** need more of a lesson. Lets work more at it mate, then we will get some *poop* done for the Charriot and his lot. Seriously, beatings from us are a nicer punishment that what that bloak would have planned for them!"

Third message:
"Bloody hell, I think they got it! Crossing the toad, more moans on the streat, they are doin' there work now. That's the stuff. Going out and earn *CENSORED*! Good work chap, you are one more step to becomming a true pimp! Ok, maby not, you still have that constipated look on your face. However, I think I can make you feel like a pimp. Here, strut your stuff. You can see those trousers from space, nobody will take your eyes off you. They will know who is boss!"

Closing message:
"Cheers mate! Hope you feel more confident now!"

Neighborhood: Staenberg
Gang: Regime
Collector: Beta

Gang item: SIM Chips
Reward: Betamax

First message:
"Do not be alarmed sir. I cannot reveal to you my name however you can call me 'Beta' if you need to address me. I have lived in this City pratically all my life. I was a normal family man, like you once were. I had a loving wife and a strong young boy that wanted to be just like me when he grew up. Now I have none of that anymore. You may have heard of the Regime, they are the secret police of the MegaCity. If you can obtain the SIM Chip located in there helmate, you can bring them to me for an exchange you will not regrette. A bit of warning, the only way to get a SIM Chip from a Regime Officer is if he is dead. Be carefull."

Second message:
"I see scrapes and bruses all over your frame. I also see you have a few of the SIM Chips in your possession. This is good, however I will need more. I am slowly decostructing the circutry to find them. My wife and kids. Ever since that fathfull night walking home from the Video Rental Store, I never saw them again. The goverment told me that I had no wife or kids, and that I have been alone for the last 15 years. I almost believed it too. The goverment lies. They always lie."

Third message:
"The Regime took them away from me. Something about me being a man under the name of Cryptos. I hacked into there files, they thought he was me and so they took my family for questioning and god knows what. The SIM Chips is what the Regime uses to communicate between each other. By reverse-enginearing such chips, I can lissen in on what they are doing and who is ordring them. Here, take these. There illigal but at this point I do not give two *CENSORED* about the law anymore. This will hopefully keep you safe."

Closing message:
"It is the essential nature of a pawn to not know he is a pawn. Remember that."

**McBain**

Here are two small maps and more Collector Stories:

Neighborhood: Sunrise Bvd.
Gang: MegaCity Scouts
Collector: Blackberry

Gang item: MegaSashes
Reward: Scout's Honor

First message:
"Just look at taught *CENSORED* underneath that sk-huh? What are you looking at punk? Yes, I am talking to you. Yes. I am the legendary Blackberry, the exile that managed to survive the onslaught of Neo's attack on the Cheatu. Legendary killer of many. I have been assigned by the Merovingian to keep tabs on the opposition here. After all, the Scouts are a front by the High Priestess who works for the Oracle. We cannot let granny amass herself an army now can we? However, I...I have respect for these young scouts. I know, YOU take them down for me and bring me their Sashes as proof! Unless you want me to turn you in mulch?"

Second message:
"Some Sashes? Give them to me! *sniff* Ah that wonderful smell on such supple ski-what are you still doing here? Get lost! Bring me more sashes! While I am *CENSORED* good assasin, I am not a ruthless and amoral killer. Young girls are not my specality in the violence sense. Now be a good little cave dweller and bring me more!"

Third message:
"Took you long enough. Give me the Sashes. This is a lot of sashes you picked up, I hope you did not hurt them too much! After all they are fragile things, they all smell like strawberries and-oh crap! Ok. Ok. I am going to admit it. You are most likely using your useless grey matter thinking why such a high level exile would take such a lowly job? I like girls. I mean, I really like girls. Its an obsession of mine. I like the way they smell. You happy now? Now I can at least report to Merv and get my reward. If you tell anyone what I just told you then you are going to wind up face down in the river by Reeves Bridge. Got that *poop* head? Oh you want something? Here, take this, I found it in the locker rooms at the Scouts HQ. Do not ask what I was doing there, ok? Hope this makes you shut the hell up!"

Closing message:
"Just be glad I did not ask you get clothing article on the Scouts that is below the waist if you know what I mean."

Neighborhood: Murnau
Gang: Dumpster Divers
Collector: Warezd00d

Gang item: Junk Boxes
Reward: DeFace Box

First message:
"Hello there? Can I sell you anything? Naw, don't try to pay me with that info crap. I need something more physical than that. I know, nothing is truly physical in the Matrix, don't try to get all pseudo intellectual on me now. Hmmm, well if you want something eazy, you can just get some good parts from the dumpsters in this lot. What would be even quicker is stealing some junk from the other Dumpster Divers themselfs. That way they spend the hours finding stuff and you can just spend a minute taking it all away. Thats more efficient. Mean, but efficient!"

Second message:
"Nice stuff there kid. However, you think you can just buy my boxes just with some shiny crap? My stuff is high on the market son! You are going to need a lot more usefull parts before I settle on making that deal. Trust me, if you are into programming, you are going to want to buy this baby. Most customers that have used it tell me later that they could not imagine life without it!"

Third message:
"Boh-ya! Now that is a mother load. Good stuff to build more stuff from. See that is how it works kid, you give me some parts and I can make things out of it. That is all I like to do is making stuff. I can make all kinds of stuff. My ex-business partner COBOL use to make stuff with me, but he moved to more valuable and risky venues. Ah forget him, here you are, one prime DeFace Box. Just point it to any proxy you have loaded and like Miracle Grow, it will pump him up like a junkie on crackroids! Haha!"

Closing message:
"Enjoy you purchase and I hope you come back again for more stuff!"

Neighborhood: Patterson
Gang: Illuminoids
Collector: Ahaz

Gang item: Chance Dice
Reward: Looking Glasses

First message:
"You seek knowledge and rewards. You have come then to the right place. My name is Ahaz. Welcome to one of our many bases of operations. I work for the Wheel of Fate and that is all I am going to tell you about myself for now. It is unwise to reveal too much of ones self with such evil and uncertainty lurking in the hearts of men. Foolish men. They are everywhere, even in my own organization. I sense great purpose in you. Unguided purpose like a diamond in the rough waiting to be chizzled into a sparkling jewel. I need you to attack my own men. Trust me, I will not get mad. If they lose to your hands, bring me there Chance Dice."

Second message:
"I see you have some Chance Dice from fallen members of our organization. They were determined but foolish, if there heart was set in there faith they would not have lost. We do not need week members of our organization such as the ones you have slain. May they be reasimulated into the Source or were ever we go when consciousness is lost. Go out and do more of your work, I sense your purpose is blossoming as we speak."

Third message:
"Ah, look how many good men have fallen. Good but not Worthy. There is a difference. I was once worthy many cycles ago when the Matrix was young. We use to guard you humans to make sure your every desire was carried out. However, we fell victim like you to vanity and corruption and we fell and fell hard. My brother and I barely survived and we have lived in exile for as long as I can remember. He has chosen one view of the future, and I have chosen mine. I only perfect the good in people and you have shown me much good. While I sadly cannot make you and official member of our organization, I can give you and honor that most members only dream of achieving."

Closing message:
"Open your eyes, take off the rose colored glasses and look to see the world as it truly is!"

1] Nastratin
2] Vaudville
3] Tungston Bvd
4] Chaplin Hights
5] Queensberry
6] Bellucci De Monica
7] Praxin
8] Staenberg
9] Sunrise Bvd
10] Murnau
11] Patterson
12] St. Skroce
13] Berggers Way
14] Elohim

**McBain**

Once again I want to state I am NOT the person who cam up with this I have no invovlement whats so ever. However, I wish I did, this is amazing. as it stands now WE waiting for him to post new ideas.

As for me I'm one of the admins / site content managers The Matrix @ Rumbaar. The person who started this thread started to post the rest of what he is working on and had asked that someone post it in here.

When everyone who has read this has loved the Idea we've had some member who left say they would return just to check it out. If it was ever possible this would be a great addition to the game, and a good solution for things to do when you hit 50.

**ZippyTheSquirrel**

I want Elohim. It's a must-have. Absolute.

I love this idea so much, I just wish there was a giant blank billboard IRL to find and just spray-pain /SIGN all over it, take a picture, and upload it here. I remember reading it when it first came out and thinking "Man, this idea tops even Developement ideas". That was back then. Now, today... oh, man, it's just so awesome, no words can describe. I should have sent for a poet.

And to continue past that, I really doubt it's actually as hard to create new districts as Developers tend to lay on. I bet there's some only-mildly complex program that creates a map of each world, as seen by the slight gaps between bridge sections.

I vote for this idea to be seriously looked at and to be the next Big Project for the Dev Team... yes, dump luggables and do THIS after the Quests.

**McBain**

Here is the latest post!!!

The last two Collectors and Two Huge Maps!

Neighborhood: St. Skroce
Gang: MSU
Collector: Beri Beri

Gang item: Medical Badges
Reward: A.Tony Riotgun

First message:
"Hay, sorry kid. I do not care if you work here, no ID means no rent out on weapons. These weapons are the properties of the Hospital and in unprofessional hands would be dangerous. If you come back with an ID card just scan it in. If that dose not work scan it in again. If that dose not work then come back later and scan it. Keep on scanning it until the *CENSORED* thing works. Just bring your ID next time kid."

Second message:
"Scan it. Scan it again. Next one. Next one. Guess your card dose not work right? Mabe you need a new card. Just keep on scanning in the cards you get from HQ until they work. Man its boring out here, but hay, this is what I want. Not like my other security guard friends. One of my friends, Jerry, worked at this government runned building. They brought some crazy madmen in for questioning and then BOOM! The rescue party for the terrorist comes in. A man in a trench and a woman leather. They tore through that place until it was just pebbles. Last words he said was 'Backup! Send backup!' I feel sorry for the Mrs you know what I am sayin'?"

Third message:
"Scan it. Scan it again. Sca-ah! A.Tony, we got a read! Tony, why did you not tell me it was you? I know how hard it is in the mental ward section with the violent crazies. You should never go in without your safety weapons. Here it is, your riot gun. Modifyed shotgun that fires a bean bag round so hard it could give a grizzly bear a concussion. Nice gun as always. Well, another shift for you and another boring day for me."

Closing message:
"Good luck Tony and remember, you still owe me that beer!"

Neighborhood: Berggers Way
Gang: Destitutes
Collector: Pope Bill

Gang item: Still Compass
Reward: Rawhides

First message:
"Heed to my words wary traveler! I, preacher and prophet of the Illuminoids speak these words of wisdom. The Destitutes are but void. How can one be without purpose? It is a lie! Everything is interconnected, every thing has a destiny and a used in this world. The Desitutes strive for a nature that only leads down to suffering and death. Preach my words of purpose to them, if they heed to my words they shall give up the compass that binds them into suffering!"

Second message:
"The Destitutes very nature of uncaring shows that they care about the world. Like much of the dezins that make up this world, they are in denial of the true nature of things. The ignorance will only cause them suffering whose only road leads to death and depravity. I see that my words are falling apon deaf ears! Go on my student, bring more over to the side of enlightenment!"

Third message:
"I see young believer of mine you have spread the words of the truth very well. Truth is but a sharp sword that cuts down through ignorance and relieves suffering. You my student are truth! We are all interconnected, we are all heading to the destiny that is unknown known as life. Perhaps one day, the Destitutes will realize that wallowing in such a limbo state is not the way to self and will blossum into wisdom and unity."

Closing message:
"Until then, I give you these my student. May they help you on your travels as you preach the truth to your own enlightenment!"

Map of most of the city points. Note they are not approximations:

http://www.freewebs.com/tetromino/e...nt%5Fbigall.JPG

Map of Level Zones:

http://www.freewebs.com/tetromino/e...t%5Fbigrank.JPG

((P.S. Please post maps full size on the topic page at DN1))

Lots more work to do. This may take me a couple of days to do but this is what I am working on in what order before the whole thing is done:

-- Mission Contacts :: Have the names and summaries, now I have to add the details. Will be done first.

-- Drawings :: Going to take the longest. Drawings of important buildings, mission contacts, gangs, collectors, ect.

-- Vendors List :: A list of new vendors, where are they located, and what do they sell. Willc ome after Mission Contacts and some of the Drawings.

-- Matrix Quest :: A new Pandora Box-like quest system in the zone. Will take almost as long as the Drawings will.

Tune in, and thanks for uploading this to DN1. Now I can die happy.

(((( PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!! Can I have this for Christmas, I promise to be good

Thank You,
Denolus Captain of the Resurgo
Omega Syndicate

PS, PLEASE RAREBIT !!!! ))))

**ZippyTheSquirrel** · 05/10/2007 18:14:48

*edit remove for silly questions*

I wonder, does your friend have information on the building types and placements in each district?

Danger_Frog1471

this is...wow...i didnt read it all no way but the details, backstory, places, things... I just can't believe the deail. This guy has alot of time and a great vast imagination. I can't wait to see more! SMILEY

**Denary**

As much as you scream for this, do you know the amount of time it takes to create something like that, it takes me about a couple of months to create a map with highly detailed textures, thats about 200m across ingame terms thats like the size of Mara C island (if you look around carefully the whole section of Mara C is elevated)

the amount of time to create the district is unimaginable, first they have to put down a basic layout for about 3000m of stuff, they then have to run textures for 3 different quality settings, they then have to put in objects around the city, they then have to create the gangs, they have to create collectors, contact missions, layout of the road and pavements for cars and pedestrians, create the map, create the map for any new buildings, put in hideouts.... need I go on?

plus because we won't get the level cap raised the gangs can't start in the level 30 ranges they'd have to start in the 40-50 ranges and go higher, plus a great point which has been already made is that we don't use DT or international or Westview that much anyway, I'd say you go richland or westview if your trying to mission below level 33 and DT for Pbox and thats about it.

It's a lovely well thought out idea but in terms of dev time to the amount of time we'd actually spend in that area, I'd much rather we got more endgame items/quests and more live events.

**Praey1** · 05/12/2007 04:31:21

Well since we don't use Downtown or international that much I guess we should remove them from game as well?

I would be more than happy to go through an extended period of dullness like when SOE took over to see new areas in game. These ideas, or what was originally intended. Patcher snot-rag quests (although better than nothing), are not enough by far.

This would bring old players back, new players in (if properly advertised), and current players here. . .simple as that. Look at the other MMORPG's out there folks. Undeniable. I currently and for some time spend most of said time in Richland in an effort to keep new and/or existing players in the *CENSORED* game and it's a losing battle, let me tell ya.

There has never been a significant level of longevity to MXO. You can hit 50 in no time depending on the time one has to play and have all your uber gear. What after that? Nothing. The people who take the time to fully flesh out an idea for this game are not doing one thing as much anymore. PLAYING THE GAME. That speaks volumes to you all, does it not?

I say time out on short lived quests for yet more clothing, time out the story and live events again to add good, solid Matrix content. Then resume and watch the subscriber numbers grow and both the subscribers and SOE see MXO finally start to realize its potential and live it!

Keep it comin folks! SMILEY

**Praey1**

That's odd. I don't know why part of my message was censored as I don't recall putting any naughty language in there. . .hmmm. . .

**McBain** · 05/23/2007 15:22:00

" Denolus here, To those of you, saying "This will never happen" you're mostly likely right... but thats not the point of this. and now for new info"

NOTE: I am not the best artist nor can I color well so I don't use color.

The Fool Concept Drawing:

::The Fool -- Contact Missions::

:..>Make ‘Em Laugh!

Summary: Seek valuable info from a Machine Mainframe.

The Fool: Awww man, this episode of Cool Cartooz is now over! God that show is awesome! So awesome they made a movie about it. Many people say they hate the idea of cute cartoon animals being slaughtered but those same people have tubes going up there collective asses in the Real World, so what the *CENSORED* do they know?! Thank god instead of waisting 10 bucks to sit with a guy on his cell phone and a *CENSORED* with her kid wailing away I can just bootleg it and watch it in the comfort of me own hom-er-shed. However, my new porno is now up for grabs now and I cannot bring myself to go out and get it. I am a very busy man ______, I do not jerk around. I mean, I do that, I make time for it...but errrr I got schedules. That is why I selected you my Oppie looking friend. Go to my bootlegger and get me that video, before dinner would also be a plus!

Operator: Well he certainly does live up to his name of being crazy. He is going to hire you to just go to a bootlegger and get a video? Which cakewalk did you travel onto ______? I wish everything were that easy for me!

The Player heads over to a shoddy apartment building and finds a man named Bootleg.

Bootleg: Sorry kid, not only am I fresh out of the Cool Cartooz bootleg, but the FBI raided my pad a week ago so all the data I have for my films are lost and under custody. I am sure they are all destroyed by now.

Operator: Erm, that is not good. I would suggest going back to tell the Fool that his DVD is gone, but I have heard rumors that he likes to slowly torture people who disobey him and then executes them publicly in a humiliating way. That...is not good. Ask the bootleger is there is any other way to obtain his stupid cartoon DVD.

The Player asks.

Bootleg: Well, there is one way to get a copy but it is risky as hell. Ok. You know how in the city they keep records of everything? Well they do, inside of the various government runed buildings. They do this so that they can review anything is worth of value and then decide to keep it or destroy it. There is one building that is an archive for films, I bet if you look there you can find the original reel which would be better than the original deal! A bit of a warning though, it is guarded by the government and if they catch you you can be in big trouble by the feds so I do not recommend doing it unless you are a complete whack job!

The Player leaves and The Fool calls again.

The Fool: So to get my movie, I have to be a complete whack job. Lets look at my resume....Energy Resource Management. Con Artist. Actor. Sex Worker and look! Complete Whack Job! I fit the bill just fine!

_________, new plan! We are going to get the original reel of the movie! The building your friend told me of is a code archive that stores the code of objects that pass by this area. We can extract the code and replicate it from the mainframe. Knowing the mechanical insects, they will most likely have encrypted the data and put tons of security locks everywhere. *CENSORED* Feds! Hmm, sounds like a good name of a TV show. But hark, I have a plan in my itty bitty head! If we reboot the power in the building, all the locks will have canceled out meaning you can just waltz in there with less bullets in your *CENSORED* than the hard way!

Go to this power station I have sent to your bird brain operator and fix our power problem!

Operator: I don't know what is more offensive, the fact that he said I have a brain the size of a bird or that he want you to turn off power to a whole city block so you can infiltrate a god *CENSORED* building just so you can get him a cartoon movie. Does he really expect you to do that? I mean, you cannot possibly agree to this madness!?!

The Player arrives at the Power Station.

Operator: Holy *CENSORED*, I cannot believe you are going through with this! You must be as crazy as he is with an added death wish to boot! Ok then, If you die, its your own hide! There are some guards in the room. I suggest getting around them first.

The Player manages to deal with the guards and the locked door that leads to a room with many machines.

Operator: Ok, I have highlighted a large gray circuit breaker in the room. You must flip it off, count to ten and then flip it back on. That should do the trick. I still cannot believe I am helping you with this. What would my superiors think if they ever found out?

The Player does as he is told: locates the Power Switch and flips it off and then flips it back on. The Player then leaves.

The Fool: Splendid! Now its the time for some fun! Put on your game face and do your best wooden Keanu Reeves impression because you are going to rush in there full guns a blazing! RA-TA-TA-TA-TAT! Those pigs will not know what hit 'em! New location, same *CENSORED*, different day!

Operator: Ok, you are not Neo, but I guess you can do this. I doubt you can make it out alive, the place is heavily guarded. You are going to have a small army to face when you try to pass the gun check room!

The Player makes his way to the building were guards sit, two are watching TV and then there is a guard that is at the bag scanner.

Guard: Please remove all personal items, keys loose change and-OH MY GOD HE HAS A GUN! SIR YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE THOSE IN HERE!

The Player battles the guards in the room and enters in to find a few more guards that the Player then deals with. The player then reaches a scientific looking room with some mainframes.

Operator: Wow, I have not seen one of these in the Matrix! It looks like a code database like the ones we use to send objects into the construct. Perhaps it works the same way? Cross your fingers in hoping that it does! I will guide you through the process. You need to place the activation code in the mainframe before you can begin.

The player finds the Activation Floppy from a scientist in a room.

Scientist: Ah! Please don't kill me! You want the....the Activation disk? For what? Not the transporter, the thing only works half of the time and its bro-ah don't point the gun at me! Here, take it! Just please don't kill me.

The Player puts the Activation Floppy in the mainframe.

Operator: Ok. Now find the main computer and I will talk you through the coding process. Type exactly what I say....

The Player then locates the computer in the room and runs it. A flash happens and a movie reel warps in on the table.

Operator: You did it! You actually did it! You-

A helicopter sound.

Operator: ______, I am detecting heavy artillery heading your way. Its...the FEDS! Holy Crap they sent in enough to kill an elephant! Uh...remember when I said that the Fool was crazy? I take that back, the guy is a full blown psycho that set you up to die! Get the hell out of doge!

The Player runs into some Regime members who combat the Player but then a large boom can be heard and the walls start glitching with Matrix code.

Regime Captain: Man down! The transporter is unstable, I repeat, the transporter is unstable! Fall back! Fall back!

The Regime members fighting drop dead and the rest run away. When the player heads towards the exit he encounters an Agent who aims his gun at the player but then his gun glitches and disappears.

Agent: We may have a data leak. Contact The Auditor immediately! This is his area of expertise.

The Agent's pants and shades glitches leaving him without pants.

The Fool: Bwahahahaaa! Classic! Ask him if he feels a draft in his lovely choice of ducky boxers.

Agent: You have won this time Mr. ________.

The Agent disappears leaving a pants less human.

Bluepill: What the?

The area starts glitching with random Plague Zone 1.0 and Powerless Zones killing the Bluepill and possibly the player if he dose not leave the area. After leaving, the Player then uploads the Reel to a Hardline and the Fool phones him back.

The Fool: Oopsie! I guess that busted code database was a wee-bit more unstable than I thought it was. Ah well, you heard Agent Underpants right? They are going to send The Auditor to fix this *CENSORED*. I am sure Mr. 1's and 0's will just send some lapdog of his to patch all this up. I feel sad for that person, the man is boring as watching wood be wood and frankly I have never seen that man smile. Its irritating.

But THANK YOU FOR THE DVD! Yes, good Cool Cartooz goodness right on my own TV. Here comes the mouse with the aluminum bat and OW! That is going to leave a mark. Ok _______, scram while I get the popcorn!

:..>Two Stupid Dogs

Summary: Stir up conflict between two prominent Exiles.

The Fool: Hay there _______, remember me pal? Your one of my best buds now after getting that movie for me. It was good but now I have another problem. Its the TV. No I do not want you to fix the TV itself stupid, its what is on the TV. You know what the problem is with Television? It broadcasts *CENSORED*. Pure, unimaginative, boring *CENSORED*! There use to be funny *CENSORED* on TV back in the day. Kids stapling themself's in the nuts, teenage girls getting raped, two trucks crashing each other on the Freeway. *CENSORED* hillarious stuff!

And you know who made the best stuff? If you said Exiles, you would be correct! Machines are better than everything than humans, even blowing each other to a pile of mess over some mere bits of info when they are stamped "REJECTED" on there foreheads and thrown out of the Machine City. However, since ol' Tommy Boy slapped on the Truce awhile ago nobody is tearing each other throats out anymore.

Well, I will not stand for that anymore! Like they say: If you wanna do something right you just have to do it yourself. Or in my case, you have to pay some twit to run around and do the things you want! Hence why you are here _____. We are going to try my new product: Exile Gang War! Step One: Visit a band of my Joker's Child at this location!

The Player shows up at apartment that has turned into an art gallery lobby.

Operator: I read exiles in the building. This must be them. Be careful, they love to play pranks. They love the deadly ones.

The Player meets some of the Joker's Childes who are telling jokes and laughing. The leader is who the Player has to talk to.

Giggles: Hi there _____, you must be the kid boss sent over. Let me tell you, boss is one smooth motha! You see, awhile ago he met Argon who is the unoffical head of the Elements family in the Slums. Oh you new that already? Ok well, when they shook hands Argon got zapped by the Fools hand buzzer. He was pissed as hell obviously about the jolt. However, what Argon did not know is that the buzzer does more than shock people. It took his hand prints and code signature. Boss then coded a paintbrush that has Argon's prints and his alone. That is why you are here. Take this brush and take me and a few fellow Jokers and head up stares. We are going to make some art! Bwaaahahah!

The Player takes the brush from Giggles and optionally a few Joker's Child members. The Player then takes the elevator up stares to the Second Floor.

Operator: The Fool just called me back, after pranking me he said to forward this to you. God I hate his guts already.

The Fool: You see the plan now? Well let me explain this to you. You are right now sitting in the spoiled brat Mandarin's art gallery. Yup, this is were he keeps those dreadful paintings and his sissy occult statues. We are going to go around and paint the town red, or at least his valued paintings. Get back to me when you are done with this floor.

The Player then moves around from exhibit to exhibit painting over Mandarin's paintings. Corporate Security guards the area. When all the paintings are destroyed the Player contacts the Fool.

The Fool: Spaztastic job there ______, spank you muchos. However, I have one more painting for you to hit. Go to this location and put your own Pacaoso spin on his unfinished work and then drop the brush on his desk. That way he will think Argon did it, and will go "wha! wha! wha! all the way home" to his daddy. Then it will be slug fest time!

The Player arrives at a small classy apartment.

The Fool: Ah, so this is what a guy with a silver spoon up his *CENSORED* lives in?

A few Corporate Security guard the area and when defeated give up a key to Mandarin's Art Room. The Player paints over the painting.

Operator: Ok, now put the paintbrush in the desk in his room

When the player opens the drawer, there is an object in there.

Operator: Huh? What is this? I think your should check that thing it out.

The Player puts the Paintbrush in the drawer and pulls out the object. Its a letter.

Letter: Dear Beryl, my love I have wrote you this because I think i r love you. I ahve seeen you from affar and I take my eyes off you. I think you are hwat in that shexy top. Your boobies glissen in the light. You have the figure of a spoon and the beauty suprased by only Persephone, no, evne prittyer. I woz wonderin if u would go on date with me. I have monies. We can go places. Love, Mandarin.

The Player leaves the are and is contacted immediately by The Fool.

The Fool: BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Holy crap do you know what you just found? You hit the jackpot of comic gold ______! I had no idea that the sissy was in love with that big breasted floozy Beryl! Guess this was his dirty little secret. While everybody knows that she has a knack for sleeping around with the frequency of a cheep ham radio, Argon thinks that she is his woman and will maim anyone who even thinks of her in a sexual way. Obviously the name of a chicken flavor did not want this embarrassing message to be delivered so guess its time for you to play Cupid! This is going to be grand...

The Player shows up at a new location, a very expensive apartment suite. Inside the Player finds Beryl in nothing but a towel wrapped around her voluptuous body.

Beryl: Guards is there something wron-ACK! What are you doing here!?! Are you working for Argon? Wha-oh you are delivering me a message? Well...give it to me.

The Player gives her the Love Letter.

Beryl: Oh my god this is from Mandarin! Its badly written but I can tell that he wants to go out with me. Sure he does nag a bit but I love his British accent and boy is he a cutie! Oh god, I have to call him back, and I do not even know what to ware! Thank you for getting this to me!

Operator: Be sure to wave to Argon's security camera when you leave.

The Player leaves the building.

The Fool: Ok, now its SHOW TIME! This should be grand now, the only question is who will blow up first. Currently Argon is at a meeting with Mr. Black. I would like you to go there to view the fruits of your labor. I will be tuning in on Channel 4!

The Player ends up at a room with Mr. Black, Argon and a few members of the Dog Pound with tons of Exile Guards roaming the place.

Dog Pound Member: Hay, who are you?

Operator: Um, say you were sent by Sammy for the peace talks!

Dog Pound Member: Ok, you can stay for a bit. The meeting is almost over with anyway.

Mr. Black: -so the gun shipment has come in. Good, now I assume that they are outfitted with the right ammo too?

Argon: Yes Mr. Black. You have my data bits?

Mr. Black: Of course. So the deal is set-

Mandarin: Dad! Dad!

Mr. Black: What in the? Son, Daddy is in an important business meeting so please wait my boy until this is over with.

Mandarin: Dad you do not understand. My....my paintings and things were attacked!

Mr. Black: What!?! They were destroyed? I put much information in those things!

Mandarin: We know who did it to! That bastard, him! Argon! He destroyed...my lives' work!

Mandarin cries.

Mr. Black: This paintbrush...this is your signature Argon. What is the meaning of this!?

Argon: I-I-I...I have no idea whats going on.

Mr. Black: Do not lie to me you thug!

Argon: I am telling you I did nothing!

A Exile named Assistant enters the room and runs to Argon.

Assistant: Sir, you wanted updates on the ongoings of Beryl. Here is the latest. The Exile Mandarin, son of Mr. Black has sent Beryl this letter. She has left a message on his answering machine to set up a date and time for a love date. She seems to be very excited and sexual about this sir.

Argon: Let me see that! "Your boobies glisten...." Ok, that is it. Mr. Black, does your son knows that Beryl is my girl? Why the hell is he going on dates with her!?!

Mandarin: How...how did you get that?

Argon: Listen to me *CENSORED*, Beryl is my girl! I would tear your tear your throat out right now-

Mr. Black: How dare you insult my son! Especially after you destroyed his works, some of them which belonged to me and are now ruined!

Argon: I am telling you I had nothing to do with that you black *CENSORED*!

Mr. Black: Lier!

Argon: Wife Stealer!

Mr. Black: The deal is off!

Argon: You know what! I do not like you anyway. Fire!

The exiles fire at each other as Argon, Mr. Black and Mandarin escape.

Dog Pound Member: The deal has failed Sammy! We are going to need back up!

The Dog Pound are overwhelmed by Exiles as the player escapes.

The Fool: That...was priceless! Did you look at Argon _____? I was counting how many veins popped in his forehead when he read that letter! And Mandarin crying? Pure comedy! Amazing work ______! I am going to have to use you more often! I am going to tune into the Evening News now, I caught a Bus Bombing incident near and Exile Zone. The war of screamy pain has now begun! I am going to need way more popcorn for this! Good job!

**McBain**

:..>And Now for Something Completely Different

Summary: Help out Zion in the most humiliating way possible.

The Fool: Hello my friend ______, nice to see you again ______ and all that crap. Look, I know you already so this is going to be short and strait to the point. Some people say I hate Zion. On the contrary, I admire there terroristic and chaotic work they do in the system. Such adorable little zealots! I am a mighty big fan of Niobe and a little birdy told me that she has been currently stuck in a jam. Mmmm, jam! You have to go and help her brown but out. Head to this location. Vamoose!

Operator: Wow, he spared us the blabbing this time. He either likes you, or this is a simple objective he has given us. I am hoping its more of the later. This location is one of his Joker's Child hang outs. Be careful as usual!

The Player arrives in a abandon apartment structure and in the basement are various Joker's Child and the leader of this group.

Pennywise: Ah there you are! Whats wrong, Agent got your tongue? Whatever! Look, boss needs you to get someone out of a jam so I want you to take this anti-viral med and some Jokers for assistance. By the way, how does my hair look? I tried this new moose and it feels like it is smokin'!

(The joke here is Pennywise is the only Joker's Child to have hair made of fire)

The Player takes the Anti-Viral Pill, some Joker's Child thugs and various helpful items from the stronghold and leaves the building.

The Fool: So you did not fall on your *CENSORED* when making it over there? Good, because you are running out of time. STEP ON IT!!!

The Player arrives at a building that is swarming with Regime members and dead Zionists. When the player has cleared the way, Niobe is found in the last locked room fighting two Regime members. The Player helps her out and talks to a badly wounded Niobe.

Niobe: What are you doing here _____?

Operative: Uh, what do we do? Huh? Hold on a sec....Room Service? Oh god *CENSORED* it, its the Fool again! Here, this is for you. I do not want to deal with him again...

The Fool: Ah so there is our tasty fudge colored Zionist! She seems to be in bad shape. Tell her the truth, the Regime have infected her with a viral compound that wiped out the other Zionist. What you have in that Anti-Viral Pill is the cure to it. She has to take it or she will die.

The Player tells her what the Fool said.

Niobe: Sparks told me about some sort of code injected in the area. That must be it...you have the cure? How can I trust you? You are working for The Fool! That man is out of his mind. I am going to ask Sparks about this.

Niobe takes out her cell.

Niobe: Sparks, we have been hit bad. This person you see on your monitor says he has a anti-virus to cure my condition can you double check to see if this is legit? Ok I will wait. What, it is true!? Sparks....ok. If you say the virus is deadly I will believe you. Ugh this hurts! Well _____, give me it already!

The Player gives her the Anti-Viral Pill and Niobe takes it and heals instantly.

Niobe: Wow, you were not kidding! It does work! I feel better-

Suddenly her cloths glitch and they disappear only for Niobe to change into a flattering set of bondage gear with a thong with the words "JUICY" printed large on it.

Niobe: WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!

Niobe points a gun at the Player. Any surviving members of the Joker's Child laugh hysterically.

Niobe: You better tell me what has happened to my cloths or you are going to eat this bullet _______!

Operator: Oh my....

The Fool: Hi this is me again. This is what you should tell her. Tell her that the Anti-Viral Pill she took has a side effect of changing her cloths with a new set of under-roos that I have personally picked out for her. Tell her that if she does not like what she has on that he cloths are located a few blocks away from here and that only you know the location.

The Player tells Niobe.

Niobe: I am going to get you for pulling this stunt but right now I have more important things to deal with Sparks, set up a hardline for-what? You mean due to this pill I cannot use a hardline?! You got to be kidding me! I have to walk to the location now? Grrrrrr! Ok fine. Send Ghost to the same location. You, _____, take me there and use the back roads and Sparks, if you tell anyone about this I am going to snap your neck. Well, what are you waiting for? Lets go!

The Player leaves with Niobe in tow.

The Fool: I sent you the location of her cloths to your GPS map. Unlike what Niobe said, take her on the main roads there and walk her around a bit. This is my gift for everyone to see and enjoy! Oh and do not worry, I sent a few friends of mine to help you out in this situation.

The Player takes a long walk with Niobe in her new look. Joker's Child, Exiles, and Redpills show up to point and laugh at her as Niobe get angrier. Half way through the trip the Player is visited by a Reporter, Camera Man and Photographer.

Photographer: Stepping through, this is for the front page of the Sentinel!

Reporter: Hello Niobe I am a reporter from Channel 4 News! Tell me, why are you currently dressed like this.

Niobe: Grrrrrrrrr!

Reporter: More at 10!

The Reporter and Camera Man follow Niobe around until the Player reaches the building were Niobe's clothes are held. Ghost and a few Zionist are there. They try to act serious and one ends up bursting out laughing.

Ghost: Niobe....what happened?

Niobe: The Fool, that is what happened!

Niobe finds her outfit on the desk and changes immediately. Then she points her gun at the player and the other Zionist follow suit.

Niobe: You have 10 seconds to get the hell out of my face before I pump you full of led. One....two...

If the player does not leave then they will all fire at the Player killing him. When the Player leaves the building the Fool calls in again.

The Fool: Fantastic _______! You have cetaintly earned your first class in prankster-ism from the School of The Fool! Hay, I made a rhyme! I am a hard core rapper yo! If I have any more plans for you, just come down and I will let you know. Either that or I will mail it to you with a friendly sample of Anthrax. Ciao!

:..>Spreading the Word

Summary: Convince The Merovingian to accept The Fool’s deal.

The Fool: Did you know if you eat all your groceries before you get to the check out counter you do not have to pay for them? Well know you know.

Off Topic here but guess who I was talking to on the Phone for two hours? Froggy that is who! After I fled the Matrix for my mishap with the Power Plant, Froggy took me into his fancy house in the mountains after I was suppose to make an oath to him. Well, I do not like oaths personally my self. So I said no and he over reacted. I mean, all I did was shoot Persephone in the leg and then threw her entire panty and lingerie wardrobe off of the Mjolnir Monument. Nothing to cry about!

Well now Froggy has not liked me and I was trying to offer him a deal but he would not lessen to me. The he tried to bully me to leave him alone! How rude! So, this is were you come in ______. I need you to convince the Merovingian that my offer is worth it. I also know exactly the way to do it so lessen to me with that empty head of yours. First, to the drug store!

Operator: Oh god, I wonder what he wants you to do this time. Poison a Merv cake? Tar and Feather Malphs? I would not put anything past him at this rate. I wonder since you keep on accepting his missions if you are addicted to this kind of stupidity?

The Player finds himself at a drug cartel that is filled with members of the Five Points gang. Boxes of cocaine line the walls leading its way to Rani.

Rani: An anonymous contact told me someone will be coming. You look like the type so lets get this over with.

The Fool: Hay, its me again. Since you seem to have the vocal skills of a high school science teacher I think its best if I talk to her. Put me on Speaker Phone please with a cherry on top.

The Player stands there as the Fool speaks.

The Fool: Hello, Rani dear. Can you hear me?

Rani: The Fool?

The Fool: Hello? Hello Cleavland! Bwahahaha, Rani wasup? How is life in the fast lane lined with dope.

Rani: Ah its ok. I had a few wild parties. What do you need?

The Fool: Not much. I have a tickle in the back of my throat, so two tabs of cold meds would do. I also would like some aloe for that burn I got from moving the frying pan and.....all the Canihydroxidopamines you have that can fill up a large swimming pool.

Rani: CzH4D12? You have dogs that you are experimenting on?

The Fool: I have a few that I've been thinking about.

Rani: Would you like the counter substance to cancel its effects?

The Fool: Naw, they do not need it. Besides, have you not heard the healing power of laughter? However, I would like to add a explosive charge to that package. Check your bank account I just sent the check for you being a good girl.

Rani: Awww, how nice. Just to be fair, I am going to going to give you a discount for being a good boy for bringing me victims to the Five Points.

The Fool: Anything to fuel that wonderful game of theres. See this kid here? His/Her name is ________, give the package with charge to him and he will deliver it to me. Got it?

Rani: Got it.

The Fool: Goodbye!

The Player takes the CzH4D12 Primer from Rani and leaves the area.

Operator: CzH3-they use that stuff on dogs to replicate the effects of rabies. What the hell could the Fool want with that stuff? Is he taking it himself because that would explain a lot!

The Fool: Good, you got my package. Now its time to put this plan into action. You are going to go to only one place, but what you will do there will most likely go down in history and make you a big target on Froggy's hit list. With that I must ask...have you ever gone to Club Hel?

The Player is sent to Club Hel in Hampton Green. After the Coat Check room the Player finds himself with many Exiles, Doberman, Vamps, Succubi and more dancing the night away.

Operator: God this plan gets crazier by the minute! Ok, I was told to find the back door escort. He is the one in the red shirt and...intoxicated.

The Player finds the man talked about and speaks with him.

Back Door Escort: Hiya mattie! What seems to be the properlem?

Operator: He looks completely wasted. I had no idea they were making Dozer's drink in the Matrix! Hmm, this could give you an edge. Talk to him and see if he can give you access to the operation room.

The Player speaks to the escort.

Back Door Escort: We have been habing strong party tonight! Whooo! Everyone is happy and crazy. That is why I like Hel, it relaxes joo. My girl dumped me this past week, total *CENSORED*. Said I was hiding code from her. *CENSORED* her! We all hide code man, that is how it is. I almost commited suieside right there. I hate this job.

The Player talks to him more.

Back Door Escort: You know what, I need to let go of my job and just party man! Here are the keys, you look after the stuff. But do not tempoor with it man because you do not know *poop* about *CENSORED* ok?

The Player gets the Operations Key.

Back Door Escort: Parrrty! Drinks on me tonght!

Operator: Wow, that was easy. Ok, the Operations Room should be around here. Find it and enter in. Beware, I sense guards with big guns in that room.

The Player finds the Operations Room near the Club Hel catwalks and enters it. After walking down the hallway they find some cowardly Exiles working the heat and security with some Elite Merv Guards. The Player kills them and the Operator calls back.

Operator: Ok, now what he wants you to do is open the door the the main air shaft and put the drugs into the main shaft and close it. I have a bad feeling about this.

The Player puts the CzH4D12 Primer into the air shaft and closes it. Just then Flood and two Lupines enter the room.

Flood: What is the meaning of this!?!

The Fool: Hello its me again! Put me on speaker for a bit. Ahem. Hello there welcome to The Fools Prankster Drive-Thru how may I help you?

Flood: The Fool? What the *CENSORED* are you and your lackey are up too!?

The Fool: One order of *CENSORED* are you up too. Got it. Do you want fries with that sir?

Flood: You better answer my question before my bodyguards tear you errand boy limb from limb!

The Fool: Oh Flood my vein friend. I am just here to spread the word. And that word is: Chaos! Have fun!

Just then explosions happen all around and a orange mist is ejected into the air.

Flood: What the? Guards! Seize the human! Guards? Guards!?!

Floods guards are fighting with each other.

Operator: Ok, I think running away would be a very good idea now!

The Player leaves the Operations Room to find all the lupines in the club have gone feral and are randomly attacking club members and each other. The Player must battle out of the Club and the Coat Check room to exit from harms way.

The Fool: Ah revenge is a dish best served cold. Its also very tasty but high in corn syrup. Then again, what dose not have corn syrup these days? Safe Houses that is what! I am sending there right now. Hurry up and be safe, or you will be out! I am the Umpire here me roar!

Operator: That man is 18 flavors of crazy. Why us? Screw that, why me?

As the player makes it to the safe house he has a chance to be attacked by a group of wild lupines. When the Player reaches the safe house it is filled of high leveled Joker's Child members who are all laughing at what the Player has done. You must talk to the safe house leader Bubbles.

Bubbles: Aww man, did you see that? All over the streets the pooches were going crazy running around biting people and beating their chest like Tarzan! *CENSORED* hilarious! Boss says here to wait awhile until it is safe obviously!

A short period of time a Lupine breaks in but is quickly killed by the Joker's Child. Then Bubbles speaks.

Bubbles: You are free to go. The boss says he might have a call waiting for you. See ya smelly!

The Player leaves the safe house and his phone vibrates.

The Fool: Very good to see the mission is done and successful _______. Why am I saying that? Well, guess who I am on the phone with? If you said Amber than you are dead wrong! Froggy has called back after some calamity on the streets and in the Chateu that involved Agents. He wants to "re-negotiate" our deal. Hmmm, guess Froggy was right. We are all victims are causality. I kick his French *CENSORED* and he calls back to re-negotiate. Cause and Effect! How cute!

**McBain**

:..>Laughing Last

Summary: Prank a high ranking Exile in Public.

The Fool: You know what is my favoret word? Frosted Nuts. It kind of rolls of the touge.

Anyhow, welcome back ______. You have become in a very short period of time one of my best if not the best lap dog I have ever had. And I rarely say that to anyone but my *CENSORED*! This is a proud feeling you should have, even members in my own organization can't even claim that much!

With that said, it is not a secret that I cannot stand the cookie baker. However, if there is anyone I hate more than its her squint eyed sidekick. "Oh, its the wingless obsolete angle that fought with Neo! Can you please kick my *CENSORED*? Please!" "Ok, but I must apologize for my bad English skills. WHAAAAAAA-SEARPH KUNG POW CHICKEN POWER ACTIVATE!" It sickens me.

So here is my question to you. Are you ready to pull off the biggest prank ever in the Matrix and maybe even in the entire history of prankdom? Well you are going to anyway because you are whipped on me! Two places you need to go, the first is to one of my Joker's Child members for some items stat!

The Player heads to an abandoned building whose walls are crumbling and standing in the living room is one Joker's Child member.

Joker's Child Member: I cannot believe that he is sending you, a Redpill to do this. It would be an honor for anyone of us to pull this off. However, I do not blame him, most of the Joker's Child are filled with stupid young teenyboppers misfits and if we sent out a Joker to do this the boss could be easily traced. Man the boss is a smart guy! Anyhow, here is what you need. Take these and call me in the morning! Or at least the boss.

The Player takes the "Recording Device" and the "Nuro Poison" from the Joker's Child and leaves the building.

The Fool: Ok, wingless is currently at a Tea Party with the rest of his stuff animals. I want you to go there and find a lonely Tea Maid in the Kitchen and knock her out. Take her badge and mix the Tea with the Nuro Poison and then serve it to our guest of honor. I will then tell you what to do from there. Do not screw up my young padawan!

The Player arives at a posh looking building that host a bunch of exiles and Tea Maids serving Tea. Seraph is in the corner drinking Tea by himself.

Operator: Ok, snoop around and find the girl. Knock her out and take her badge, that way Seraph will think you are a Tea server.

The Player finds one kitchen with an alarm and a Tea Made. The Player snuffs her without triggering the alarm and takes her badge.

Operator: Ok, in the microwave looking thing there should be some Tea. Put the Nuro Poison in there with the Tea and turn the machine on.

The Player drags the Nuro Poison in the Tea Maker and then activates it. A whirr and a bing later the Operator calls back.

Operator: Now take it and serve it to Seraph.

The Player takes the Cup of Tea and brings it to Seraph.

Seraph: Thank you Tea Server for your hospitality.

Seraph drinks the Tea. The Operator chimes back in.

Operator: Ok, The Fool just called me and is telling me that you should start a fight with Seraph. He did not say anything else. This sounds to risky _____, I say we should back out of this one.

The Fool: I have a way to solve this. The Operator is going to play a game of Rock, Paper, Fool. Here we go. Rock...Paper...Fool! I win. Now get going and start a fight with squinty!

The Player talks to Seraph.

Seraph: You want to challenge me to a duel. Here? Well, ok, but I must apologize for this...

The Player fights Seraph. At first it is hopeless, but then red viral code starts spewing from Seraph's RSI.

Seraph: What is this? I feel...weak!

The Fool: Its working! You are doing great _____! Give him a one two and remember, aim for the digital nards!

The Player beats Seraph as he gets weaker and weaker until he is hopeless. Eventually the Player defeats Seraph in combat with shock coming from the on lookers and screams of I don't believe it!

The Player flees the building.

The Fool: For the completion of this wonderful humiliation, I need you to visit one of my good friends in the media. Head there and do not get killed, we need you in one piece...or two!

On the way, the Player will get attacked by a group of MegaCity Scouts looking for revenge on Seraph. After defeating them or out running them the Player will enter another abandon building and find The Newsie lying and waiting.

Newsie: So mac, I heard you got a big scoop for me? Well give the recording to me!

Operator: Er, I think he means the Recording Device but I am confused to all of this.

The Player gives the Recording Device to The Newsie.

Newsie: Got it, this is good. Thanks a lot. Bye!

Operator: What just happened?

The Player leaves and the Fool calls back for one last message.

The Fool: Did you just had any idea what you just did? You not only defeated Seraph in what appeared to be a fair fight, but you obtained recorded code data of the whole thing. That data can be made into video for broad and podcast as well as extracted as pictures for print publication.

I can only imagine the headline in the Exile papers: NEWSFLASH! LOWLY HUMAN REDPILL _______ BEATS UNBEATABLE SERAPH! READ MORE TO SEE HOW THE COOKIE CRUMBLES!

Well done _____, you are not cooked rare. I am going to definally put you on the list of people I need in those "getting the varnish off a footlocker" situations. Sad for me but thankfully for your Operator I must go, there is funny panic and chaos to watch on TV now. Here if your consolation prize.....I think its soap or something. Other wise, ciao and remember: If you arrive late to the table you will not get any pudding! Smell you later alligator.

Next Up: The Magician and more Artwork.

**McBain**

Quoted from Rumbaar By Darrius

" Oh, someone also mentioned on DN1 that the Devs would never put this in the game because of the time and resources. I would like for someone to post this response along with the new info.

Do I expect the Devs to put every single idea into the game? That would be amazingly awesome, but the answer is no. Heck I do not expect any of this to be in the game.

What I am trying to do is offer the Devs example. Things that they will read and go "Ok, this is what our target audience likes!"

For instance, one of the things that bothered me about the game is that every single Mission Contact was an Exile. There were like 2 or 3 Red Pills but the rest were Exiles that were associated with the Merovingian. Why is that? I mean sure, Exiles are interesting, but the Matrix is controlled by the Machines is it not? Were are the very interesting and controlling machines? And what about the many legendary operatives of Zion? Why is everyone that is cool an exile?

Hence why in my district, I tried to put a variety of people into the missions and world. Heck, there are even 3 Blue Pills! When was the last time you did stuff for Blue Pills that was major? You would think that we would be talking to Blues all the times and running from cops but nope. All Exiles for some reason.

So in short, I am doing this mass project to give the Devs a inspiration for thought and designs as they continue to update the game. That and this whole thing looks very nice in my profolio.

Ciao! Darrius