Sea of Serenity
Flood: He's not even here anymore, and he's still causing me headaches... Oh, there you are. It seems the General needs us to bail him out once again. Malphas can provide you with the details. The Merovingian thought the old rust bucket would be useful flying around out in the desert, but I'm certainly not seeing it...
Operator: Malphas is in there.
Blood Noble: It's the Zionites I want...
Blood Noble: Human foolishness...
Malphas: Increased Machine patrols in the tunnels are posing a danger to the General and our own Sentinel fleet. They must be moved out of danger; the question is, to where? Zion's knowledge of the maintenance tunnel network in your world is much more extensive than our own. Thus, it is necessary that we know what they know. We will do this by-- Ah.
Operator: Well, look who just popped in.
Malphas: I believe the Effectuator has the pertinent information.
The Effectuator: Hey-o! Ooh, did you get a haircut? I-- Oh, yeah--the squiddie thing. Lucky for us that I think I remembered seeing something about tunnel maps back when I was helping Zion with their networks, and constructs, and that whole bit with Niobe being captured by Anome. Man, that guy was a crack-up. Did I ever tell you about the time I tricked him into uploading a virus into his own-- Oh, sure, sure. Mm-kay, so I think we can look those tunnel maps up at a certain Zion terminal. No sweat.
Operator: Sounds a little shaky... Anyway, let's find out from Flood where we're supposed to find this terminal.
The Effectuator: Ooh yeah. So Anome was all hot to get up in our constructs--this was back when he worked for Zion--and I egged him on until he had his operative grab some "data" I conveniently left for them to find, and upload it straight to him. Needless to say, the "data" was a little fun-bomb of a virus I'd whipped up just for the occasion, and it went through and deleted all the info Zion had on me! I heard he was begging for mommy! Heh! Man, there was nobody like Anome for taking bait.
Malphas: Bonne chance, operative.
Flood: Oh, so the Effectuator thinks he remembers something about it, does he? I know my confidence in this operation is just skyrocketing... This supposed Zion terminal is situated inside a business office. Yes, just skyrocketing...
Operator: I'm just reading a bunch of bluepills, but this terminal we're looking for is supposedly in there somewhere.
Bluepill: Did I show you guys the photos I took of little Trav last week? These are great!
Bluepill: Aw, he's such a cutie!
Bluepill: Please no...
Bluepill: He calls me "Naja"! I don't know what that means, but it's so adorable.
Bluepill: He's going to look just like his dad! See?
Bluepill: Not more baby photos...
Operator: There's the terminal. Check it out.
Operator: Hm... All right, that could be some sort of Zion connection. But it might take all day to-- Oh, look who's here.
Bluepill: Hey! You can't touch that!
Bluepill: No! Don't check the broswer history!
Bluepill: Uh... Oh, no, no reason. Nothing to see there.
Bluepill: Oh... Well, okay...when you put it that way...
The Effectuator: See? What I'd tell ya? Now, you just leave that thing to me; I'll make it sing like Sinatra. Wha? Oh, don't worry, those noobs can't see me.
Operator: Do we really need to stick around for that?
The Effectuator: Go on ahead; I'll have the info for your operator in a minute. This system ain't gonna know what hit it.
Computer: >list conn all active -219 ("Dave's big mother"] -321 ("Office prnt share 2 colour"] -472 ("Cindee's pookins 
"] -2110 ([Unavailable]) -9995 ("biz2nethub007"] >Port 2110 -info Port info... Access denied. 256-bit encryption (NWZ) >_
Bluepill: It never ends...
Bluepill: I'm going to print these out.
Bluepill: Oh, and then there are the digital ones from this weekend. Give me a minute and I'll pull those up...
Flood: Operative, at this point I'm completely emotionally divorced from this mission. Whatever happens, that's great. Maybe the Effectuator's a genius. Maybe he's the idiot I've always supposed him to be. You go connect the dots, and get back to me. I am floating...in a sea of tranquility, free of cares...of old lunatics in shorts and loafers...
Operator: Sheesh, maybe this war thing is getting to Flood after all. Here we go dotting the i's and crossing the t's for him, then. You're looking at several scoops of Zionite soldiers in there, Mayk. The Effectuator says he's traced the tunnel info we need to one of the systems in there. Only one way to find out.
Zion Guardian Patcher: I've got one! Over! What? Hell with that!
Zion Martial Arts Initiate: It's the Machines!
Operator: There be the terminal in question.
Operator: Ooh, that's one fat data pipe. Coordinates... Yeah, this looks like the tunnel data, all right. We'll be able to construct a map of the tunnel system they know once we've got this all downloaded.
Flood: Tunnel coordinates... Lovely... Report to he who must be obeyed... Om...
Operator: O-kay... For those of us who haven't checked out early: the Merv's in there. Hopefully the tunnel data puts an extra-big smile on his face.
Elite Guard: We should hold wars more often.
Elite Guard: You're a human?!
Elite Guard: I hear the Machines are really handing it to Zion.
Twin: Dead, most like.
Twin: Maybe, old boy... But he did get himself into his own construct. That's something. That changes the rules, you know.
Twin: He was awfully fond of that extra-dimensional train station of his.
Twin: Well? What do you think happened to the Trainman?
The Merovingian: Ah, bon. Welcome, General. We have updated information that will allow you to continue evading detection, if you follow our directions precisely. Furthermore, I require that you stay within areas that I will delineate for you. Attempt to leave these areas, and our override will shut you down. I trust this is sufficiently clear?
Holographic Projection: ... Message received and ... acknowledged. Course of the fleet will be adjusted as requested. ... That is all.
The Merovingian: That went well, non? You have facilitated this strategic maneuver admirably, Mayk. Flood will have some payment for your trouble.
Flood: It's a technique I picked up in the Orient, Mayk. Keeps the mind clear--something more of us around here could use, I dare say. So the General is saved from his just desserts for another day--a triumph of monumental proportions. The war continues, and all is well. Exeunt.
((And that's all))
