In love we are bound, in love we will die

I can’t start my story from awakening or before, for my clouded mind has had a momentary lapse of reason.  My memories came back to me as faded thoughts, a brief whim of what use to be.  As I searched for myself, I started questioning my choice.  Why did I choose the red pill?  I asked, repeatedly, but still came to no conclusion, I can’t remember.  Why would have anyone chosen this hell, this truth?  As it got harder to contain my depression, I decided the best way for me to get over this, was to place myself with others.  Maybe being around people will make me forget.  I was recruited into the Teneo Vistri – EPN, to learn and become… something.  I did my training and read my studies, but I felt more questions being brought up in my mind.  So I read into everything and learned about the 3 organizations and the 2 splinter cells.  More and more, it clouded my mind with questions.  So I walked.  Figuring it would keep my mind off of my own troubles.  Expecting to actually draw away from it all, I found myself asking strangers my very questions.  What I found is that all these people that I met repeated one thing over and over.  “You are not alone.  Others have also questioned the choice they had made”.  I felt relieved, for the time being.  It didn’t take long after for a person to ask why I believe in the ways of the EPN.  I lost it, my mind overwhelmed, and I could no longer take it.  I sat alone, thinking of what I had learned.  Zion believes in The One, and prepares themselves to train and take care of The One.  They release humans who want to know the truth.  The EPN believes in Neo, and his return.  They set off bombs inside the Matrix that reveal Matrix code to people inside the Matrix, in order to wake up as many people as possible.  The Machines believe in the Matrix.  They stop red pills from “awakening” humans, to keep the system running properly.  The Cypherites believe in the cause of getting all Zionists to rejoin the Matrix and to stop giving red pills to people in the Matrix.  They are fascists who force people into submission, persuading red pills to voluntarily reinsert themselves into the Matrix.  The Merovingian believes in power.  They could care less if the Matrix crashed. 

After I considered all the beliefs together, I found myself hopelessly alone.  I believed in none of them.  I have learned that in the beginning, we humans brought this upon ourselves, we destroyed the planet, and we blackened our skies.  In the Machines defense, only as protection against ourselves, made up a world to believe in, and used our bodies as a power source.  The Matrix has been around for what seems like ages, and the struggle still inside the same.  I value the story of Neo, if it weren’t for him, none of us would be here.  Not only did he save us, he saved the Machines.  He risked all of humanity…for love.  I paused in my revelation, love, how could’ve I not seen this sooner.  Love IS worth fighting for, love IS worth dying for.  Neo proved this to be. Love to me seems the most intriguing to Machines, how can we make rational choices when love is designed specifically to overwhelm logic and reason. I was excited, I found my belief, but soon realized the humor in it all.  How could I fight for love?  Back to square one, but at least I gave myself something to believe in.  My reasoning, my purposes and values soon flooded my mind.  I thought of the things, that would in others eyes, deem worthy to fight for.  I, myself, can’t stand the caves, the food or the stench of Old Zion.  So why not fight to save the planet, together, man and machine.  Leave the Matrix as a “wonderland” for humans and machines to interact.  Leave behind the hate for Machines, humans, and exiles.  No matter the obstacle, love will find a way.  Wow, sounded good to me, but of course, what would others think.

You come to love not by finding the perfect person,

Don’t fall in love with someone you can live with,

There is only one happiness in life,
to love and be loved.
                                                                   George Sand

Darkness

I had a dream, which was not all a dream.

The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars

Did wander darkling in the eternal space,

Rayless, and pathless, and the icy earth

Swung blind and blackening in the moonless air;

Morn came, and went and came, and brought no day,

And men forgot their passions in the dread

Of this desolation; and all hearts

Were chill'd into a selfish prayer for light:

And they did live by watchfires - and the thrones,

The palaces of crowned kings, the huts,

The habitations of all things which dwell,

Were burnt for beacons; cities were consumed,

And men were gathered round their blazing homes

To look once more into each other's face;

Happy were those who dwelt within the eye

Of the volcanos, and their mountain-torch:

A fearful hope was all the world contain'd;

Forest were set on fire but hour by hour

They fell and faded and the crackling trunks

Extinguish'd with a crash and all was black.

The brows of men by the despairing light

Wore an unearthly aspect, as by fits

The flashes fell upon them; some lay down

And hid their eyes and wept; and some did rest

Their chins upon their clenched hands, and smiled;

And others hurried to and fro, and fed

Their funeral piles with fuel, and looked up

With mad disquietude on the dull sky,

The pall of a past world; and then again

With curses cast them down upon the dust,

And gnash'd their teeth and howl'd: the wild birds shriek'd,

And, terrified, did flutter on the ground,

And flap their useless wings; the wildest brutes

Came tame and tremolous; and vipers crawl'd

And twined themselves among the multitude,

Hissing, but stingless, they were slain for food:

And War, which for a moment was no more,

Did glut himself again; a meal was bought

With blood, and each sate sullenly apart

Gorging himself in gloom: no love was left;

All earth was but one thought and that was death,

Immediate and inglorious; and the pang

Of famine fed upon all entrails men

Died, and their bones were tombless as their flesh;

The meagre by the meagre were devoured,

Even dogs assail'd their masters, all save one,

And he was faithful to a corpse, and kept

The birds and beasts and famish'd men at bay,

Till hunger clung them, or the dropping dead

Lured their lank jaws; himself sought out no food,

But with a piteous and perpetual moan

And a quick desolate cry, licking the hand

Which answered not with a caress, he died.

The crowd was famish'd by degrees; but two

Of an enormous city did survive, And they were enemies;

They met beside

The dying embers of an altar-place

Where had been heap'd a mass of holy things

For an unholy usage; they raked up,

And shivering scraped with their cold skeleton hands

The feeble ashes, and their feeble breath

Blew for a little life, and made a flame

Wich was a mockery; then they lifted up

Their eyes as it grew lighter, and

Each other's aspects. saw, and shriek'd, and died, beheld

Even of their mutual hideousness they died,

Unknowing who he was upon whose brow

Famine had written Fiend. The world was void,

The populous and the powerful was a lump,

Seasonless, herbless, treeless, manless, lifeless,

A lump of death, a chaos of hard clay.

The rivers, lakes, and ocean stood still,

And nothing stirred within their silent depths;

Ships sailorless lay rotting on the sea,

And their masts fell down piecemeal; as they dropp'd

They slept on the abyss without a surge

The waves were dead; the tides were in their grave,

The moon their mistress had expired before;

The winds were withered in the stagnant air,

And the clouds perish'd; Darkness had no need

Of aid from them. She was the universe.

-Lord Byron-