privaron0 wrote:

MatrixRefugee wrote:

Listen. I just work for the guy. I don't make the policies or decide who he hires or fires. There's been times when I've flat-out refused a job because it would have entailed killing Blues -- and I've gotten screamed at for not doing that. I've got nowhere else to go. Do not try and recruit me, because you've done nothing to impress me or convince me otherwise. Most of my best friends and all of my family are Merv, so back off, capeesh? I'm not thrilled with the situation either and to be honest, I wish I was stronger so I could have handed Silver his own skinny toushe for a second time.

Guess what, guys, you're going to be short one target because I'm just not going to jack in -- unless it's at Club Sphinx, where you can't fight us (and I suggest my fellow Mervs do the same). Hel, I may just not jack in at all on any instance, because I'm sick of getting slammed.

With the upmost due respect Sieges I believe you originally lended your opinions to such situations as you do now. I believe my original response to your rather varying views with your organization when you attempted to use it as a idealogical crutch was that you could always join us.. if nothing else it was a peace offering and a way out of impending hostilities between our organization...

You have your freinds and obligations and I have mine your employed by a sycophantic monster who profits off the deaths of our freinds and families who still peacefully sleep and than worry about exile rights. You may refuse to carry out such tasks but your endorsement of such employers freindships with such monsters and overall detached nature from humanity and those who are still within the simulation where they should be is troubling.

If you don't like the results of your organizations horrendous endorsement of human testing and feel that obligated to absolve yourself from the situation so be it.. its certainly no skin off the back of an enemy organization and mere aquantence. Heck.. if it keeps you from doing more damage to bluepills by inadverently supporting your own selfish dreams for programs being treated as equals while they liquifify our friends and families in their pods to test the BIP so be it... Your doing us a favor and trust me.. We have plenty of targets.

Oh also.. that mock funeral was rather disrespectful to the dead people whos blood is on the hands of smooth talkers like you and Tranque don't you think?

Damned if I stay and damned if I move on. There really isn't any other org that has given me a damned good reason to join them. EPN kills Blues and Exiles. Zion is so myopic, it can't see the forest for the trees and consider that maybe there are some well-meaning, harmless Exiles that just want to live and for whom the Matrix is home, and who have never given it much thought that the Machines may, unwittingly, have been trying to protect humanity from itself in putting the survivors of the war in the Power Plants. Cyphs don't want Redpills to have the freedom to choose a life outside of the Matrix. Machines commit genocide against the Exiles -- I almost went Machinist when I started out, but when I was ordered to kill an Exile family with an offspring or two (including a toddler who started crying), I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I have an outpost with a farm to maintain and a son to raise. I personally would rather *NOT* afford these at the cost of buying into a war -- ie, Zion vs. Machines or Machines vs. Zion, whoever it is this week that's blaming the other side for starting it -- that I just plain don't believe in. Granted, it's at the cost of working for an amoral regime. I'm just trying to be, as I have stated elsewhere, the one good person who could tip the balance for Sodom and Gomorrah. If there was a fully nuetral organization working towards peace, I would join it in a heartbeat. But there isn't, so this is the choice I have to settle with.

(( OOC: Just need to say this before it eats me alive, but right now, the whole slamming-every-Merv-in-sight-just-because-they're-a-Merv stuff is really getting to me, probably because, IRL, I've been slammed for being one of any number of things that help shape and define who I am -- female, Catholic, disabled, gothic, single living at home with their parents (because it's more economical in the state known disparagingly as Tax-achusetts), childfree, bisexual. It's all I can do to come on this forum or jack in because it's reminding me of RL situations that I'd rather not have brought back to mind. Can't we just play the game together in some semblence of peace, please? I'm not asking for bunnies and daisies, because I recognize that this is a dark universe. I'm just asking for a little peace of mind so the game can actually be fun for a change and not make me feel like I'm dealing with relatives and acquaintances who've jumped on me for being what I am...))

Eh... now your starting to sound like Chim.. my hostilities are not aimed at programs.. or peaceful exiliists. My hostilities are simply put aimed at a silver tongued monster named The Merovingian who uses humanity to substntiate his power base. This resulted in horrific deaths and I feel morally obligated to do my part to stop it.

Those that truely know me in your organization know I made a personal choice to all attack all of his interests. I take no pride in it. But I feel its the only course of action left to take against such a manipulative exile.

Dogma makes things easier..


(OOC I wouldnt worry about it -_- I have the upmost respect for you and Tranque as contributors to this community and articulate purveyors of your side of the story)

What would you rather I did? Kill myself? Because unless the unthinkable happens and another organization -- with a far more selective recruiting process, in order to weed out the potential crazies and warmongers -- is started, that is about the only option I have. And to be honest, if I didn't have a son to raise and a family to look after, if it was just me, that's what I'd do...

:: Music dimly heard in background::
It all returns to nothing, it all comes tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down
It all returns to nothing, I just keep letting me down, letting me down, letting me down

(( OOC: Whoops... sorry if I sounded like I was going off half-cocked there. :: Laughs sadly at self:: Just been going through some emotionally tough times lately and I'm afraid the timing for all this in-game wasn't the best. I'll do what I can to take care of myself so this doesn't happen again.))

You weren't there, so stop making assumptions about what happened. Tasvyder herself said the whole thing upset her because, and I quote "I could not do anything to soothe them", meaning the Blues.

What am I doing bothering to talk to a brick wall anyway? I might as well save my breath and try to enjoy however many breaths I have left...

He only thinks about what will make him feel best after killing. Please dont try to induce any complex thought into him, as it can only "weaken is loyalty"