Sticky Notes from Bob 06/21/06:

**SaintDaniel**

*CENSORED* Hell. Another dream. I was in an old school vintage arcade playing Mr Do with David Hasslehoff and Leonard Nimoy. (I think I was drinking Dekuypers Spearmint Schnapps out of a Pepsi cup, but it could have just as easily been Peach. Im not sure the relevance.)

Anyway

Out of the corner of my eye I could see a whole pack of former Emo/Rap Metal Douchebags handing out God pamphlets to innocent bystanders and supposed sinners minding their own business. And there it was again. That heavenly scent. You know. The Holy Colon? I looked around but couldnt see any evidence of a divine entry, So I just assumed one of my companions dropped an SBD. But when I looked back at the screen, there HE was. My game was replaced by a golden shower of light, bathing in all its heavenly glory, my whole face. Then the holy Rumble, the holy giggle, and poof he was gone, taking my high score with him. But leaving behind another 3M sticky note. This time it was powder blue. I think. It said

"Be not overcome of the tongue of hypocrisy spewed forth by the *CENSORED* of evil, but overcome evil with a good smack on the *CENSORED* face. Verily I say unto thee, that should that *CENSORED* turn a cheek, smite him there as well, saying unto him, "Look, fatty, we've been through this already. Save your born again speeches for your sour milk butt foot urine smelling dread locked barnyard buddies. Those sheep are buying. We ain't. Amen. Now, *CENSORED* off." *CENSORED* 23 skidoo.

"P.S. By the way. My name isn't actually GOD. It's BOB. There was a bit of a SNAFU a few thousand years and several prophets back. The angel that was delivering the "WORD" back then had an eating disorder and drooled all over the sticky note. I've been trying, with no success, to fix that ever since. These talkin monkeys are a tough crowd. Thick skulls. After a while I just gave up."

**SaintDaniel**

I dont even know what is real anymore. My subconscience is winning the battle.

Or is it?

Maybe its the inner psychodelic trips ive been having. Feels like a past life. I get these visions of the past and the future.

Not only am i losing my grip on reality but the reality that I do live feels fake.

Maybe its the drugs

How can i be high right now. This *poop* never happens to me.

Bob's voice is geting louder in my head.

"Its almost the end your almost there" he says. "walk through he says"

My environment is changing i see green, then i see blue.

spiral, in and out.

Then i hear two voices. I feel like ive known them my whole life.

"become reviled" they whisper to me.

I wake up and see the faces of the voices that ive been battling with my whole life.

They wernt just dreams.

The brothers hover above me.

I cant move.

My eyes hurt.

They saved me from the hell that was my life.

Im free, now i serv that cause.

Sleeping isnt always a bad thing. There isnt pain when you sleep.

Mercidos told me what you all were thinking.

Evasidos told me what you were feeling.

They were right.

The crowd watched us. All there hopes hanging on every word.

The energy of the sway from side to side, heads bobbing back and forth to the rhtym of the sounds.

We've got a suggestion to keep you all ocupied.......

Learn to swim

**SaintDaniel**

Had a dream that I was sitting at a Star Trek Convention discussing my evenings plans with some Klingons. I had just purchased tickets to see a double feature of "The Da Vinci Code" and "The Last Temptation of Christ," when out of nowhere these brand new bible thumping converts dove in front of my John Deer riding lawn mower and interrupted my exit. They went on and on about how they used to be Emo/Rap Metal *CENSORED* bags before they found their way back to "The Jesus." "We were drunk **jerks** until we gave our hearts to Jesus F. Christ." And then out of nowhere the heavens parted. A bright white light filled the parking structure. Gods hand reached down from the light, slapped a sticky note on my forehead, stuck out his thumb and said Pull! So I pulled and he farted and in a thunderous very stinky flash followed by a divine giggle, he was gone.

And as for the note?

Here it is. Enjoy

"And the *CENSORED* saw the angel of the LORD, and he lay down under Balaam. and Balaam's anger was kindled, and he smote that *CENSORED* with his staff saying, "Look. just cuz you saw God, doesn't mean you aren't an *CENSORED*. If it acts, runs, and bays like an *CENSORED*, God or not, it's an *CENSORED*. Now move it, fatty!" From the book of *CENSORED* Ch. 24, V. 7